Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
