omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
