I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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