Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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