Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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