I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
