The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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