You really coming over, don't trick.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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