OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
