Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
