For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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