My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
