he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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