Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
3 2 1 whiskey
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
