dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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