He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
