you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
