This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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