I think I am morally bankrupt
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
