Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
