Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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