he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What a dumb baby whore.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
