It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if i can run in heels then i can drive
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
