just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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