And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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