come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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