You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
