You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
