i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize