i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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