Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
