you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
