6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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