Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
