we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
