yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
