i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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