Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize