What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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