Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
