honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
