i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
