they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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