we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
