May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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