I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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