Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Shame - the story of my life.
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