Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
