She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
