He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
