...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She bit a glass in half.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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