He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
