Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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