someone get that fucking seahorse.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
a search helicopter?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
