Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
