A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize