I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
