Screwed.edu
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Shame is for Republicans.
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