I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have feelings that need drinking.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
