We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish I only lived at night.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
