The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize