it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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