when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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