Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
