So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
